Lisa just turned thirteen when we found her wondering the streets of Pretoria. Before she came to live with us she was expelled from primary school, on the last line of the report the teacher wrote: “My Best wishes go with her, I hope she can be helped”. The teacher explained why they couldn’t accommodate the girl at the school any longer: “She was given many chances to start over, but every time she threw it back in our faces.  She was absent from school many days and had a negative influence on some children, they were dragged with to smoke with her and she made them very aware of drugs, she also had an unexplainable hold over some boys.  Often she would show remorse for all that she’s done, but would soon be back on the old road. More than once the school has endured costs to bring her school work and books up to date but to no avail.” 

The teacher was of the opinion that Lisa was an anti-social misfit, in one paragraph she stated: “ She didn’t mingle well with other children, her appearance was such that other children did not want to come near her.  Lisa makes it very difficult for the School to enforce discipline with her behavior.  Parents in the community felt that she was a threat to their children and that she should be removed from the system.”

Lisa, as I recall wasn’t like this at all.  One morning, after dropping Mario of from work, Rosanne and Jinna jumped out the car to say hello to friend from the children’s home they use to be in.  They spoke on the pavement for a while and then asked if Lisa could go home with us. Later she told me that she was supposed to go to a reformatory school but she doesn’t want to.  She ran away and hiked all the way from Kempton Park to Pretoria.  Her first couple of days at our home she seemed sweet and untroubled.  She is quiet, soft spoken, loveable and kind.   After getting to know her it is clear that she is extremely dependent on someone or something.  She craves a mother figure and needs a lot of love, attention and physical contact. She would frequently verbalize her love and attractions to an idol or new found love interest, and her interest from one person to another would change as often as every second day.

Lisa becomes moody and at times even aggressive, she also becomes demanding and extremely tearful and can sulk a lot.  She calls her condition “depression”. She has made an effort in contacting her family, Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, by leaving messages with her new number and address but to no avail.  When no one phoned back after one week Lisa got ‘depressed’, withdrew and cried a lot. She felt really insecure and unloved and became very clingy and refused to be alone.  She felt no reason to live, and said her life had no meaning.  “I feel dead inside, I have no heart, I’m not in a state to do or feel anything anymore, all I want to do is cry, I hate everyone!”

She was furious when she said “I want a mother, she did not have me for nothing!    She had me but she doesn’t want me.”  She spend 7 years in a children’s home.  “Seven years!” cried, “Do you know what that feels like?”  She was sure that God hates her.  She explained that when she was in one of the institutions she had tried to burn down the church, that she swore at the Minister and that she actually burnt the bible.   She asked, “If I ask Him, would He forgive me?” 

Lisa wrote a letter to a friend the month before we found her on the streets, 12/08/2001, she wrote: “The stuff I hide inside is killing me.  I want to tell you but I don’t know how.  Sometimes I wonder if we would live our dreams.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me but lately I keep on thinking about all the ‘wrongs’ in my life and that’s why I don’t know what to do anymore.  I swear I’m going to have a nervous breakdown or something.  On Saturday I almost drank sleeping pills again, just to not know what’s going on around me.  Listen I love you with all my heart and mind and soul and remember if one day something happens to me – I Love You. Lisa”

In a letter dated 2001/09/03 a couple of days after Verna-Liza’s arrival, she wrote this:

The third letter she wrote to me the day after she pretended to slice her wrists to manipulate me into fetching her friend from Kempton Park.  She was sniffing glue with two new kids and I refused to fetch the friend untill she is clean again. “Dear Sue.  How’s it going with you? I’m just writing to say thanks for everything that you and Mario are doing for us, I appreciate it a lot. I might not show it but I do.  Last night was hectic and now me and Rosy are sitting here with pains, but I think we both needed it.  Oh ja, thanks a million for stopping me when I wanted to stab Rosa with a knife because if you didn’t then we both would have been in hospital by now.  I really love you lots because you feel like a mother to me.  Sorry that I sniffed glue last night but I don’t quite know how to handle my depression on my own.  Love you lots like jelly tots. Cheers. Liza.”

2 days after Lisa’s Mother was suppose to visit but did not keep the appointment, Lisa gave me a letter to give to her Mom.    On Wednesday 17 October 2001, she waited all day for her mother, the previous night she tried all the numbers she knew to find out if her mother would meet her and left 3 messages with the Pastor where her mother works.  No one phoned her.  The next day she phoned a friend of her mother’s, “Tannie Susan” to get the right number, but her mother never answered her phone all day.  When evening came she stopped asking if no one has phoned for her. 

She woke up the next morning with a different attitude and seemed to have some direction in her thinking.  After some quiet time she gave me the letter and asked to go back to the Day Rehabilitation center, she wanted to complete the program before she goes back to school next year, she said. She seems to have accepted her situation and her mother’s situation, and does not blame her.  Having finally decided where she wanted to go from here and what her direction would be she was so much easier to work with, her unresponsive, sulking attitude changed into the loving, kind girl she was born to be.

CRIMINON New life center in Pretoria reports on Lisa, 24 October 2001 after she religiously attended the program from 9 to 5 for an entire week:
“Lisa has shown a lot of willingness to do the program and I am sure that she can benefit from it.   The center specializes in rehabilitating juvenile offenders that are diverted from the juvenile court and various other sources, such as the children’s court, social workers, probation officers and local children’s homes.  The basic principle of the program is to restore the juvenile’s self respect, as it is at the point that he lost his self respect that he became a criminal in the first place.  Once this has been accomplished, the juvenile is then allowed to rejoin society with the necessary self respect, life skills and sense of morals to abstain from committing further crime.  The program also includes a drug detoxification procedure for those juveniles addicted to drugs."

The Criminon program consists of various steps and an individual assessment is done on each juvenile to determine which of the steps they need to do.  Below is the list and brief description of all the steps Lisa was assessed to do:

1. Communication course:  This course is comprised of drills and other practical steps that enable juveniles to improve their ability to confront situations in life, to communicate and to resolve problems through communication.
2. Learning how to learn:  This course gives the juvenile the ability to study and retain knowledge along with the ability to recognize and overcome barriers to study learning.  The juvenile learns data on the three barriers that a juvenile runs into when studying and how to resolve these barriers. He or she learns how to clear a word in the dictionary so that it is fully understood, how to do demonstrations of concepts so he/she can easily grasp them and how to spot and handle any difficulties in his/her study.
3. Way to happiness course: This course is based on a common sense moral code with the intention of helping her to better evaluate her past, present and future conduct and to discover a renewed moral sense.
4. Detoxification procedure: She started on this procedure.  She still has to run it for about four weeks.  This step of the program removes drug residues and other toxic substances from the body.  These residues remain locked in the fatty tissues of the body and can be released back into the bloodstream even years after the person has stopped taking drugs.  When released back into the bloodstream these residuals can cause cravings for more drugs and thus need to be eliminated from the body to maximize the chances of full recovery from drug addiction.  This is accomplished through an exact regimen of exercise, proper nutrition, vitamin and mineral supplements and sweating in a sauna.
5. She was also assessed to do a counseling program.  Here she will receive the data she needs to improve her survival potential by teaching her about personal ethics, honesty and integrity and shows her how to correct behavior that is against the moral codes of society.  She also looks at the actions she has done in the past and the effect this had on her survival and happiness.

The Criminon program is a substance abuse and social education program.  There is no medical treatment of any kind.  Medical drugs are not prescribed and there is no advise or recommendations made regarding the use of prescribed medication.  Over all the program is doing very well with the rehabilitation of kids.  90% of the kids that finish the program, does not revert back to crime or drugs.”

Lisa did not finish the program.  One morning a messenger of the court came to the house to fetch Lisa with a Court Order.  My hands were tied, I had to let her go.  She has not been with me very long, only 2 months, but has crept into my heart the fastest.  She has unlimited potential if given the right attention and stimulation.  I needed a little more time with her.  She has to start believing in herself, and not think that her past will cripple her future.   Eventhough I understand the law and realised that she was suppose to be placed out to a more permanent home, this date of placement was not due until atleast 6 months down the line.    “If no one else is interested in her emotional well-being”, I pleaded with a lady at the Welfare Department, “then allow me to be a part of her life, she deserves that much atleast. She has finally found acceptance for whom and what she is but has not the privilege of enjoying the right to be loved.  For her sake please place her back in my care and let her be a normal young girl with a happy future.”  This request was denied.

Liza was taken to a children's home. Initially she showed some behavior problems, the house parents called me in to meet with them, and to talk with her. One year later she was allowed to come and visit for one day. There after she settled down and was soon adopted. She finished school and is currently working overseas. I am very proud of her.